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Forum Home > Chatter Room , The open Chat room ! > The trail was long

grampata
Member
Posts: 364

It was very early monday morning, I decided to go to your house JJ for the trail ride I knew it would be a long ride from pittsburgh.   So I loaded up a back pack Full of trail mix, the coconut kind.  a few bottles of water for when I came to the desert, I heard It's hot and dry.   I don't have a horse handy, so I thought I could pick one up on the way.  I laid my back pack by the the back door to cool the water while I went back inside to watch the map channel,  It's always a good thing to know witch direction to go. It wasen't long before I was on the road again, backpack on my shoulder and rain in my face. I must have walked for two days, before I realized I was going the wrong way.  I was low on trail mix and my water was gone.  So I sat at a busy  intersection. and held up a sign saying I will work for a horse. Just when all hope was lost and my last pocket of trail mix was the only thing between me and dispair. I felt something move in my backpack, at first I thought I was delierious. When all of a sudden a little furry somebeach fliped over my shoulder and started barking commands at me,  my heart raced with fear, sweat poured from my forehead, I was trembling so bad, I could hardly think straight. And It came to me that was that little somebeach chipmonk knew my passwords and was reading my e-mails. I picked up the backpack and chased him arround the back of the building, and there tied to a brick was this beautiful horse just looking like he wanted to go on a trail ride, far, far, away. I knew right then and there That little chipmonk wasen't going to catch us.  so I leaped upon the steed and rode like the wind and never looking back, until I heard a siren blairing and the lights were flashing. The officer understood my situation and gave me a ride  and a place to stay for the night. He made me promise I would come back and visit him Next monday  at 10:20 He thought we should  meet in front of the court house. What a nice town! so JJ could you pick me up at the airport in 10 minutes. I need two horses,  one really big horse and a really small one. see ya soon

--

"The sore thumb is the one that sticks out."

March 19, 2010 at 3:21 PM Flag Quote & Reply

mobilegourmet
Site Owner
Posts: 851

lmao ! best one to date bro. lol

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Keep on cooking real memories are made in the kitchen - Melinda Winner

March 20, 2010 at 4:16 PM Flag Quote & Reply

MissyRA
Member
Posts: 537

I swany ! You should write shorts grampy ! I am laughing so loud the makeup girl came over. Now the whole shoot is being help up to read this, lol. I just wish they would give me my blackberry back. umm, I got it back I am writing lol, but you know what I mean. everyone keeps snaching it to read this. I agee best thus far !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! See you on the trail ride baby. Tell gramy to pack some extra trail mix for her and I. Thats how we will get you to keep moving. I hold the bag and grammy can spread the trail mix in a line and you , yes you my dear will follow the trail , lol love you guys ! Grammy keep my grampy in line. I say you should get an award for being married to a comic. love you grammy !

--

Seeing the world through a Lens  !

March 20, 2010 at 4:28 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Tweety
Member
Posts: 376

I love it ! the chipmonk is back ! OMG ! SO FUNNY I THINK I PEED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

March 20, 2010 at 4:30 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Tweety
Member
Posts: 376

work for it grampy , lol missy is a mean girl , lol just kidding

March 20, 2010 at 4:36 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Mrs . Chef Ralph
Member
Posts: 215

LMAO! You must be dropping the pounds left and right , lol you know walking for two days and all. I guess that is a healthy thing after all the doughnuts in the coffee shop. Thanks for the story, I needed a good laugh !

March 21, 2010 at 1:23 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Zoey Linx
Member
Posts: 467

ha ha ha , thank God for the horse, but the judge thinks its called a horse thief. Oh you are in trouble gramps. What's next ? lol tell us what happens in front of the judge, lol glad to see the chipmonk is back . great story pata, you should write books.

--

ALOHA !

March 21, 2010 at 1:31 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Sally Loy
Member
Posts: 436

So should we call you the jail bird or jail monk lol. Hey maybe the monk will break you out when you are sent up the river, lol I just love reading your stories, they make me laugh so hard and when you have auto immune arthritis a laugh really helps, thanks grampata !

March 21, 2010 at 1:37 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Alice
Member
Posts: 370

Oh my Gosh ! this is soooooooo funny. Hey grampy, I will lend you a Bay mare next time so you stay out of trouble, lol dam chipmonk , lol

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May your life be filled with good friends and good food ! :D

March 21, 2010 at 1:46 PM Flag Quote & Reply

MissyRA
Member
Posts: 537

wheres the new story grampy ?

--

Seeing the world through a Lens  !

March 25, 2010 at 9:43 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Sally Loy
Member
Posts: 436

I agree where is part two ? lol get on it ! lol

March 25, 2010 at 9:44 AM Flag Quote & Reply

gourmet2U
Member
Posts: 183

pesky little bugger is hot on the trail ! lol Grampy hurry behind you here he comes duck ! lol great story ! ok I want to read part two.

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Lover of all foods

March 25, 2010 at 9:53 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Lizzy
Member
Posts: 487

Ha-ha-ha!  Grampata, you get personally designed nipple rings for that one!  Free of charge.  What is your birthstone? I'll even add a little gem, or a Chipmunk totem.  

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Love is the only thing that heals us. But Drugs help!
March 29, 2010 at 7:16 AM Flag Quote & Reply

grampata
Member
Posts: 364

hey lizy:    that's all I need is a set tiedowns for my hompin man boobs. lol

--

"The sore thumb is the one that sticks out."

March 29, 2010 at 8:11 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Akurt
Member
Posts: 392

LMAO! Old man that was some funny Shi- , lol You are the man when it comes to sotries.

March 29, 2010 at 9:30 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Sally Loy
Member
Posts: 436

part 2 please ! lol

March 29, 2010 at 9:40 AM Flag Quote & Reply

JessyJ
Member
Posts: 32

OMG ! SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY ! I have 2 words for you ! PART TWO ! LOL

March 29, 2010 at 9:47 AM Flag Quote & Reply

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Cooking terms and abbreviations:

c. = cup

T. = tablespoon

tsp. = teaspoon

lb. = pound

lg. = large

Pinch = app. 1/8 of teaspoon

Allemande: one of the four mother sauces. It is an egg-enriched velouté. A velouté is a white stock-based sauce.

Al dente: usually referring to pasta—slight crunch to the bite.

Au jus: the drippings released from meats as they are slow cooked.

Bake: to cook food in the oven, usually with little fat or liquid. Also refers to the cooking of baked goods.

Bard: the process of wrapping meat in a thin layer of fat to retain moisture.

Baste: to pour or spoon liquid over food while cooking.

Béarnaise sauce: an emulsified butter sauce made with egg yolks and clarified butter, seasoned with tarragon, shallots, and vinegar. Usually served with steak.

Béchamel sauce: This is also one of the four mother sauces. It is a white sauce made from a butter and flour roux. There are hundreds of sauces that start with this classic white sauce.

Beurre blanc sauce: a classic French sauce made from a wine and vinegar reduction finished off with butter.

Blanch: to immerse food into boiling water briefly to par cook. The food will then be finished using a second cooking method. This method is also used in the canning process of fruits and vegetables to remove the skins.

Braise: to simmer foods on the stovetop in a very small amount of some form of fat to brown.

Break: usually means a cream sauce has separated during the cooking process.

Butterfly: to cut food in half but not all the way through; when completed, it will resemble a butterfly with open wings and will lay flat on any surface.

Caramelize: to cook food over a fairly high heat until the foods’ natural sugars are fully released, and the food turns caramel in color.

Chiffonade: to roll leafy vegetables and cut into small strips.

Chutney: an Indian condiment made from fresh fruits, vegetables, and spices; usually spicy and sweet.

Confit: usually refers to duck or goose that has been slow cooked in large amounts of fat and stored in the fat until service.

Deglaze: to use liquid to remove the remits of the item cooked in a pan, such as meat, fish, poultry, and vegetables. Wine is usually the first choice for deglazing—some use stocks, broths, and water.

Egg wash: equal parts of water and beaten egg used to brush on baked goods for added color during baking and to seal pastry before baking.

Espagnole: one of the four mother sauces. It is a brown stock-based sauce used to make various other sauces. For example, to make this sauce you could start by using a beef stock and finish with seasonings and slurry.

Fillet: To remove the bones from fish, meat, or poultry.

Ganache: a creamy mixture of melted chocolate and heavy cream used over cakes and desserts.

Julienne: to cut vegetables or any food into small, even strips.

Leaven: the act of rising in baked goods. This usually happens when leavening agents are used such as baking soda, baking powder, potato starch, air, and whipped eggs.

Marinate: to soak foods in a seasoned liquid to enhance flavor.

Mince: The procedure used to chop food in tiny little pieces. This is usually performed with a chef’s knife.

Mirepoix: celery, carrots, and onions that are chopped and used as a soup base and to season other foods while cooking.

Mother sauce: There are four basic sauces that are referred to as mother sauces simply meaning they are the base sauce where many other sauces are created from them. Some believe there are five, the fifth being emulsified sauces such as mayonnaise and hollandaise sauce.

Pipe: This is when you are decorating cakes, cookies, and pastry using a pastry bag and a decorating tip. It is also when you are filling foods with a filling using a pastry bag.

Poach: to cook food in liquid.

Puree: to puree, grind, or mash solid foods to a smooth consistency.

Reduce: to boil liquid to concentrate its flavor and thickening.

Render: to cook down, melt the fat in meat.

Roux: flour and butter or any fat mixed to form a paste. Used to make a base for sauces or stews.

Sauté: to cook food quickly on the stovetop over high heat with little fat.

Sear: to brown quickly over high heat.

Simmer: to cook food over low heat for long periods of time.

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1/4 tsp 1 mL 1 ml

1/2 tsp 2 mL 2 ml

1 tsp 5 mL 5 ml

1 Tbl 15 mL 20 ml

1/4 cup 50 mL 60 ml

1/3 cup 75 mL 80 ml

1/2 cup 125 mL 125 ml

2/3 cup 50 mL 170 ml

3/4 cup 175 mL 190 ml

1 cup 250 mL 250 ml

1 quart 1 liter 1 litre

 

Weight

1 ounce 30 grams 30 grams

2 " 55 " 60 "

3 " 85 " 90 "

4 " 115 " 125 "

8 " 225 " 225 "

16 " 455 " 500 " (1/2 kilogram)

Temperatures

Fahrenheit Celsius

32 degrees 0 degrees

212 " 100 "

250 " 120 "

275 " 140 "

300 " 150 "

325 " 160 "

350 " 180 "

375 " 190 "

400 " 200 "

425 " 220 "

450 " 230 "

475 " 240 "

500 " 260 "