Cooking with Arthritis

It's Been well over a week since my last update, I have been very busy with construction of the pond. Haley worked tirelessly night and day drawing the blueprints for chip run a muck. Her plans called for a modestly constructed, natural habitant that would accommodate a fair amount of woodland creatures. As far as I can decipher from her renderings, I think she pretty much left it up to me to make any small changes I felt was necessary. The site was a good distance from my tactical defense training center, so I figured what the hey a few thousand feet will be no big deal. And I always wanted a submarine and a battle ship. It didn't take long before my battle hardened soldiers of fortune construction workers got this party started. I constructed an temporary eagle's nest, fully equipped with hot and cold running water, one and a half baths, full kitchen and a state of the arts communication system. I made it clear I wanted the pond to be about, somewhere in the neighborhood, I'm thinking, uh mm, hmm, go that way, make that a little bigger, hey deeper! As it turned out four thousand feet long wasn't far enough to get on any state maps. I guess that's a good thing, Haley made sure we were flying under the radar, we wouldn't want to draw any unnecessary attention to the project. As I was calculating how many buckets of water, per man, per day, times dollars versus labor, Haley called G r a m p a !!!!! I lowered an old army canvas feed bag on a rope, The look on her face told me, that I didn't spend enough money on transportation of dignitaries. She couldn't have gotten there at a better time, just from the way she was pointing I knew she wanted to scrape the bucket brigade ideal, she reminded me that just beyond the tree line flowed a small river. visions of the English channel, panama canal, access to the mighty Mississippi , my heart flooded with emotion Haley was a gift. A true thinker of our time. Stay tuned for the filling of lake Haley

We toiled all night, the channel is complete and the lake is ninety percent full, and my submarine sank sometime during the night. I have my suspicions if you get my meaning. Were just about ready to launch the battle ship, the shore line is elbow to elbow with chipmunks in full battle gear. Commander Haley is at the helm, the deck hands are making final preparations to launch, and I have a half of bottle left of launching champagne. Wait! let me say, all gone, I'm the first mate,You can't get good help any more. Check for leaks ,pump that bilge, all aboard. The vessel is quite large, sixteen feet in length and five feet, port to starboard. The 're are life canoes mounted on both sides, fully equipped with cushioned heated lumbar seats. satellite TV and cold beer. For your comfort this model boast front and rear downed filled sleeping flotation devices to further enhance your sailing enjoyment .I can't say enough about our underwater security team consisting of extremely hungry, Iceland piranha and snapping turtles. Now if you'll visually trace the shoreline, notice the darker circles dotted randomly thru out the wooded areas , those are movement sensors equipped with night vision technology,that trigger a highly sophisticated alarm system connected to my bed. Commander Haley, Head for the dock. Let's see what this baby will do under pressure

Jess! Haley want's to watch from the eagle's nest, climb up first then pull her up in the bucket, I think she's starting to like it. Etta get in the ship, please! ah come on ! pretty please! anybody! Alrighty then keep those cameras rolling! mumbling #$!%. Raise anchor, cast off, set sail, gittyup Hey Give me a push,I think I'm stuck on the submarine. That's it! whew! Quit laughing, &%%#!! I think I need a bigger ship, Wow This lake is filling up fast! That's a lot of fish! Dam chipmunks I know what your thinking. Look at them all, waiting for me to fall in the lake or sink well HA! to you, I'm wearing a shark bite suit. If Haley wasn't watching I would blast you with this fifty millimeter cannon strapped to my hip you little blood thirsty bandits. I hope that damn works! I better put on my floatation device an extra one wouldn't hurt seeing hows I cant swim a lick. Quit talking to your self. I'll just shut up and smile for the cameras. shut up already,I did! But I keep on answering myself.. Hi Haley! Is she waving or is that the signal. It looks like a signal, I think it is. All ahead full, Full speed ahead. All stop! Let me see how do I launch a canoe. No turtles in the boat mister! Think! do I have any open wounds.I know ! Haley! Where is everybody What are those chipmunks up to now? Where did they get those rafts. Help! Help! Help! Why are they carring rocks on the raft. Huh! that's sounds like a country band. Note to myself start a country band, call it Rocks on a Raft. Pull your cannon, It's your only chance, but my powder is wet. Who cares! It's too heavy I'm sinking. And quit talking to myself, People are going to think you are crazy. ow! Kick a guy when he is down, If only Haley could see her little buddies in action. Ow! stop that, Wait a minute, I get it There not trying to drown me there saving my life by pelting me with rocks so I swim to shore instead of beaing eatin by my under water security team. Haley must be in direct commutation with the tribal leader from a portable hand held transmitter. That's where she went! and to set the traps while I kept them entertained, great plan sweetie . as soon as I get to shore I will Lock and load.

Wow its here already ! I thought we had to wait for Sunday , lol great story. Lock n load baby lock n load ! way to go grampata !  Guess what gramps  these stories are Brilliant ! Do you like my spelling , lol

An eagles nest with a bath ,I guess when you are a construction worker anything is possible . I was showing this story to my friends and we just laughed until it hurt. Oh my goddness grampy. I think you really should put a book together . Good stuff . Hey hows it in PA.? Is it warm yet ? Did Grammy plant a garden or better yet did you. Are you still not smoking / You better not be .

We fly into outer space, run on dry land and now we go 20  leagues under the sea ! You gotta love this web site ! No time for pain thoughts here guys ! thanks for the stories and all the great tips !

I see you are NEVER  getting away from the chippies, lmao ! By land or sea the chippies are coming for me ! Look out TA !

I get it now . You learned how to defend your family at a tactical defense training center ran by chipmunks, lol. Now they are trying to stop you from telling the world what you have learned. got it right ?

OMG ! We are all pulled into the world, ha ha I love it. Every Sunday we meet and read... So worth it. Hey Grampy and all of the Mothers Happ Mother's Day !

Hi Grampata ! All this talk about a book of short stories. I don't agree. I think you should write one big book and have it the same story about the chips. You can still have different adventures but make it flow together. With that being said, I love the stories but I think you would have a better chance writing a big book or a few smaller ones in a series. Love this weeks it has me laughing so hard.

LOL, We are seeing the world in a whole other light through your imagination and its great. So funny and its nice to think of other things other than pain. Good job ta

Wow, I feel like I am aboard a great crew with lots O laughs ! good story

funny brother tom

ok where is the newest one ? Sunday I will be checking it out