Cooking with Arthritis

Acceptance may be one of the toughest things one faces in life. Some need to accept a new family member or a loss of a loved one, others a boss that is a real Jerk and then there are people like myself that have to accept pain and sickness. Whatever it is you need to accept it never seems easy. My Mother used to tell me you live to you die. I have adapted her theory to fit my situation, Yes you live until you die, but what you do in between is your choice. You can spend your time by simply existing or you can be productive and live life to its fullest. I personally have chosen the latter. I have not always felt this way. Being born with a birth injury and developing five forms of arthritis in my twenties made it really hard to see any light much less one at the end of a tunnel. But I found my light. Believe it or not having rheumatoid arthritis has shown me the way. When I first developed the disease I thought it was just an ache and a pain, no problem I will take an aspirin. I was so very wrong ! Pain is an understatement and deformity is a given! It was not only just an ache and pain it is a very debilitating and crippling disease that effects more than 46 million people in the US alone, 50,000 of that number are children and those numbers are rising,yearly.

RA steals the patients life slowly starting with employment and eating its way through the family and friends unit. RA , also causes the person to feel constant pain at some level and always being tired or having the feeling of being worn out does not help matters.

I think one of the most frustrating things about arthritis is people simply do not understand the disease. When you tell people who have no arthritis you have RA,or RSD, or Fibro , Lupus or one of the over 100 different forms of arthritis, the reply is I think I may have it , my elbow hurts when it rains, my favorite is hey I got an aspirin that will do the trick. Knowledge is power. It is our job to make the American public aware of the severity of arthritis and auto immune system diseases and who it effects and how they can help us in our battle against it. I got a little off track.

Lets get back to acceptance. It is really hard to accept the fact that you have this awful disease. A million thoughts running through your head on what happens now. Well; what happens now is up to you. You control your destiny not your disease. Yes, there is pain, deformity loss of job, friends and family members tired of you being sick. All of this is not only difficult but life changing . You are now at a point in your life where you decide what you are going to do with the hand dealt to you. You can not give it back or give it away, you are stuck with it for better or worse its your hand. The only thing you can do at this point is move forward. Reinvent your life. Take steps to turn your adversity into a positive. Use your disease to help others. The person you help may not even be handicapped or physically challenged in any way. The person you help may become stronger just by watching your strength. They may follow their dream just because you never gave up, you fought and persevered despite your disease. Remember someone is always watching you. It may be your son or daughter a friend or stranger, no matter who it is your actions could change their life. I have devoted my entire adult life to helping others. I am following my dream. I now invite you to follow yours. I would love to hear your story.

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Beautifully said! You have touched my heart.

You are an exceptional woman with a heart of gold! You are doing a great thing here. I hope your book hits the best sellers list in its first week out!  I have learned so much on this site in the short week we have been a family.

You go girl! You are a role model for all.

inspiration

I love this story. I read it almost everyday

This is my theory in life as well - thank you so much to be able to put it in such a beautiful post...

I know that many people have very hard time to accept bitter things in life, everyone deals with it differently.  Despite my age (I am 53) I am a learner;  I learn from books, shows, movies, but mostly from people and life experiences.  I love to watch and listen... I am also a fighter.

I learned one important thing in this life: if you don't accept things happen to you, doesn't matter how unpleasant they are - you may end up leaving your life in misery, constantly questioning yourself:  Why?

I also learned that just to accept and not do much about it - not a way to leave either.  What would happen to Armstrong if he wouldn't accept his fatal cancer (that is what they told him: fatal) and wouldn't fight?

I believe that only because he is such a strong person, only because he didn't become a couch potato feeling sorry for himself - he is on a track again enjoying his life! Life is a fight; such a a cliche, but this is so true...

We can't and we shouldn't expect that someone will help us; as hard as this is to deal with health issues, marriage issues, job issues - it's all ours, it called life and learning how to deal with it without depending on others makes us strong.  I grew up in a family where my daddy used to say: "No such thing "I can't", is the thing "I don't want to" so get up and do it.

As a child, I wasn't happy about it, but as I grew older, what a wisdom this man had!  His lessions are priceless.

I was a child who had health problems since the early age. At age 12 I was Dx with TB,  4 years in treatments; same time I was Dx with JRA.  I did not think much about all this.  My dear parents did not want me to grow up as a weak, "poor sick child". So I was attending sports as much as I could, was treated same way as my younger, healthier siblings.  It helped me to be confident and not feeling I am any different than others or less fortunate.

Since I was 24 I had surgeries almost every year on a different parts of my body.  It did not put me in misery;  I continue working, pushing myself.  If Dr tells me you will stay home for 6 weeks after surgery, in 4 weeks I was back to work. Not because I was pain free, but b/c I felt I can do it, b/c I knew they need me to be there.  And it was OK!!

At age 34 I was  told by my gynecologist to go and see Oncologist/ surgeon, b/c they believe I have ovarian cancer and need surgery.  My surgeon wanted to see my husband ,I bagged him not to do it, I didn't want to upset him, he has diabeties and no need to upset him before my surgery.  I never said to my family that cancer is expected.  And even more: I asked my husband not to tell kids I have such a big surgery, because my daughter was preparing for CPA test and my son was too young to worry.  We told them I go just for a simple procedire. Someone may think I am crazy. I don't feel this way.  I just love them a lot and don' t want to upset them too much before it needed to be done.  After all - It wasn't a cancer,  they just did the whole hysteroctomy and I went through menopause at age 34!!  This wasn't  easy at all...  But it could be worse, right?

The only thing almost crushed me is my Dr's words- you need to go on disability, you will never be able to work again.  I disagreed with him, I wanted to proof him wrong - well, he was right this time.

I had to give up such a job! I worked so hard to get my MBA, I worked so hard to achieve what I achieved and this all only b/c my spinal surgeries failed??  Well...

I accepted;  it took me a good year to come to the conclusion: if I don't accept my life changes - I may end up with depression and than everyone around me will be suffering to see my sad attitude.  I love them more than myself, I want them to be happy around me, not sad.  They see me every day with a cane or a wheel chair, they see me in severe pain not be able to do things I used to do, not to be able to hold a cup or pick up my wonderful grandkids - so why would I add more to this plate?

I wake up in the morning and I make myself "pretty" as much as I can. Not same way I used to be, but no way I let myself go for my loved once and also we women feel much better when we look fine, am I right?:)

Last summer I was finally Dx with adult RA after seening one Dr after another and being ignored just b/c they saw I have such a bad spinal problems after my surgeries, they did not want to accept the fact that maybe something else is out there.

3 month later I get a phone call from my Neurologist saying that I need to go and see MS Dr due to new findings... And yes, same year I was Dx with MS and a bit later - Lupus...

After METX. is not working for me, I was put on Enbrel: o, Gosh!  Wrong desicion since Enbrel makes MS worse!  Changed to IV Orencia Infusions and now hope for the best.  A lots of steroids and other tons of medicaion....hoping for the best. New day - new hope!

The only thing all my pain meds and other meds make my heart condition worse, but without  them I will not be able to function at all.  I need my life quality regardless, so be it.

I heard many times from people: what keeps you going?

LOVE... Love for people, Love for life itself, Love to do good things for others,  Love to my loved once...

I am not a hero by any means like some people tell me; I have my moments like everybody else.  But I refuse to leave my life to worry about myself, babying myself, thinking how unlucky I am;  instead I feel very lucky and why not?  I am 53, still here, my family with me... I know people whose kids are very sick; I knew a 34, single mother who died from breast cancer and left 2 little girls... so many tragedies in this earth and RA not one of them... So why wouldn't I feel lucky?

All about ATTUTUDE!

All the best to all of you! Hope new day will bring you a smile...

Love... Mol 53

I gained so much from this, I have nothing but respect for your strength.

Great Story !

Tough to accept.  I remember when you said you had an ache and a pain that migrated through your body.  Who would have ever thought it would be this????????????? 

Sometimes life is a PAIN IN THE A$$.  I believe its the pain we go through that makes us the people we are today.  Maybe I will always have those darn FLAT FRISBEE cookies!!!!  I've accepted that.  BUT, its hard to accept this stabbing pain in my hip.  Also when I try to stand up and my legs don't work. Or when I fall on my face, lol.

Its these things that make me the person I am today and closer to God each day.  It stinks, but life goes on.  There's that in between we still have to deal with.  We need to change this negative behavior ~ its easy to fall into this when we have chronic pain.

Good luck with all your pain

You are a wonderful person  ! great story !

I re read this. it was inspiring to me, thank you !

There is no doubt, that we just plain have to accept certain things, that we cannot change.  And, I agree, that the folks that offer an aspirin, for the kind of pain that I've even suffered, with Interstitial Cystitis, about drive me crazy!  It is far worse, than a Urinary Tract Infection, and the days, when I've sat too long, or even been on my feet too long, I wind up with extra, blood in my urine.  (As well as the pain accompanying, that result!)  And, I've suffered long enough to know, that for someone, who is in any type of chronic pain, and aspirin, is a joke!  Its soo good to have sites, like this one, where those who do chronically hurt, can encourage each other, while we are in...our own battles.  Blessings, great story! And uplifting!

amazing true thank u 4 sharing

Yes ,Mel I read it again , it is so good !

I love this post I think everyone should give this a re-read .

I was ask to bring this back up to the top so here it is enjoy

Thanks for this - it's inspirational.

Being its Mother's day I am going back and pulling up some of my favs Melinda has posted. Here is my Favorite of all time !